Anxiety & Guilt
Therapy for pet parents dealing with anxiety and guilt.
Offering in-person counselling in Vancouver and virtual counselling across British Columbia.
You might feel guilty going to work, going out for the evening, or travelling without your animal.
Missing a walk or spending less time together than you'd planned can leave you feeling as though you've let them down. Changes in your own life such as a new relationship, another animal in the household, or simply having less time than you once did, can also bring questions about how those changes are affecting them. Even when their needs are being met, there can be a persistent sense that you should be doing more.
Research into guilt among dog owners has found that it can arise around everyday aspects of care: time and attention, leaving them alone, being away for work or travel, and looking after their physical health. For some owners, that guilt also affects decisions about social plans and travel.
You may also find yourself watching closely for signs that something is wrong, running through possibilities in your head, or researching a concern long after you've already found the information you were looking for. When you're away, that might mean checking the camera or messaging the pet sitter for another update, only for the worry to return.
Even after you've done what you reasonably can, there can always be another possibility to consider or another reassurance to seek. The worry can start taking up more time and mental energy than you want it to, or influencing choices you might otherwise make differently.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy offers a place where the complexity of your experience does not need to be simplified or defended.
Our work together may include:
Exploring worry about your animal's wellbeing or safety
Examining the expectations you hold about what it means to be a “good” pet parent
Understanding how guilt or anxiety may be affecting social plans, relationships, travel, work, or other parts of your life
Separating what your animal actually needs from the persistent feeling that you should be doing more
Understanding patterns of checking or seeking reassurance when something feels uncertain
Exploring beliefs about self-worth, what you deserve, and the guilt that can come with prioritizing yourself
Frequently Asked Questions
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There is almost always something more you could do: another walk, more enrichment, more time together, or more attention to their health. When “more” becomes the standard, it can be difficult to feel satisfied with what you are already providing.
Research on guilt among dog owners has found that the gap between the pet parent someone believes they are and the one they think they should be, can contribute to guilt. Even when your animal's needs are being met, the sense that you should be doing more can remain.
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A new relationship, another animal in the household, a change in work, or simply having less time can affect routines that once revolved more closely around your pet. Even positive changes in your own life can bring guilt about what those changes might mean for them.
It can be difficult to hold both realities at once: that your animal matters enormously to you and that your own life will continue to change.
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Worry can become difficult when feeling okay increasingly depends on knowing that your animal is okay. You may find yourself checking repeatedly, seeking reassurance, or changing plans because being able to monitor or respond feels safer.
The goal isn't to stop caring or to eliminate reasonable concern. Therapy can help you understand what happens when uncertainty starts driving the checking, planning, or decisions you make.
